I asked my friends and acquaintances to describe me, and these are the responses I received:

Office IT guy: “You’re kind, funny, will tell it how it is and not afraid to call someone out on their bullshit.  But very easy to talk to.  Can also take a joke.”

Office BFF: “You’re very protective when you’re friends with someone.  You get very anxious when things aren’t done properly.  You also don’t really hold your tongue when something is important to you.”

Co-worker: “Fantastic.”

Quasi-cousin: “Ummm…you like alternative music.  You have dirty blonde hair, Asian eyes, and you smile a lot.  Like, you have Asian eyes but on a white girl.” (It’s the one-quarter Korean in my blood.)

Office BFF #2: “An eloquent mix of class and sass with a funny bone of an adolescent.”

Former high school intern: “I’d say you’re a very funny, trustworthy, hard-working person that is very forgiving and always willing to listen.”

Former co-worker: “Your sense of humor is refreshingly dry.  Everything you say is amazingly accurate and comes without sugar coating. You are so sincere that you will wholeheartedly let someone know that they are totally fucking up.  Which is a hard to find trait.  I would also mention your ironically high level of patience with your quick temper.  I would footnote the word foul-mouthed.”

Colleague: “You are honest, funny, and have a big heart.”

I think they all want to borrow money and think that buttering me up will make me more receptive to opening my wallet.  Joke’s on them; I’m broke, ha!